Catalyst Love—Knowing I Am His Beloved Changes Everything

The women at Catalyst Farms come from hard places. They have repeatedly received the message directly or indirectly that they have no worth and they deserve to be abused and exploited. When you live under the heavy hand of abuse long enough, your idea of what love looks like gets twisted. You begin to believe that you don’t deserve to be loved. 

But this is not just the story of the women who take the brave step out of human trafficking, it is the story of us all. I, and you, have also believed the lie that we don’t deserve to be loved. Do you hear the whisper of condemnation in your ear— “Hey, remember that thing you did back there in your past? It’s unforgivable. You deserve to be where you are. You don’t deserve to be loved or to have good things.”

Why then would God, or anyone else for that matter, come down to us when we feel we’re the ones who messed up our world in the first place? Since God chose to come to us as Jesus, Emmanuel, God with us, what does that say about His character and His love for us?

Jesus embodied unconditional love and He will go to any length to help us experience and receive it because He knows that experiencing unconditional love, perhaps for the first time, changes everything.

Suddenly, where I was invisible— I am seen.

Where I felt I have no value— someone says through their words and their actions, “You are valuable. You matter.”

This is not the chocolate heart and flowers brand of love that we’re talking about. This is not the love that you see printed on Valentine’s greeting cards around this time of year. This kind of love is what we read about in God’s love letter to the world: the Bible.

God says, “I have loved you with an everlasting love.” (Jeremiah 31:3)

When my life is a trainwreck and I feel that I don’t deserve my 1000th second chance,

God says that He sings in delight over me. (Zephaniah 3:17)

God says that even before I was born, He knew me and loved me. (Psalm 139:13-16)

Can you wrap your head around that kind of love? Me neither.

Instead, I tend to give intellectual assent to God’s love for me. I still believe that I have to change myself to become acceptable to God. Jesus, however, turns my thinking on its head and shows me that His unconditional love for me is what changes me. When I’m a mess and incapable of digging myself out of the hole I’m in, when I feel most unlovable, this is the time when I experience the depth of God’s love. Do I allow myself to fully receive God’s unconditional love and let it sink into the very deepest depths of my being? Do I allow it to change me? Do you?

Think of your absolute worst moment when you botched things. Badly. You had no one to blame but yourself, your arrogance, your addictions, and your total inability to live up to that unattainable standard of perfection that the little condemning voice in your head screams in your ear like a shrieking monkey.

Now look up from the self-created pit you’ve dug yourself into, covered in filth and muck. Someone has climbed down into the pit with you to bring you out. His white robes are smudged by your mud and filth, but He came looking for you and found you. He picks you up and holds you tenderly. Then you see His hands— deep scars mark them. You realize that you are the reason for those scars and the pain and abandonment that accompanied them when they were afflicted on this God-man who carries you so gently out of the pit now.

Knowing the depth of God’s love for me and experiencing unconditional love for the first time changes everything. I am able to see the beauty of who God created me to be.

As former Catalyst resident *Zerah shared at last year’s Be A Catalyst Dinner:

“Before I came to Catalyst, I knew of God, but I did not have a relationship with God.” As Zerah experienced God’s love for her in very concrete ways through women who came alongside her, Zerah has embraced the transformative love of God and its life-changing effects.

I am transformed and learn who I am when I know that I am Jesus’ beloved.

“I wish I could take my heart out and just let you guys see my heart because words don’t do it justice. … God has blessed me abundantly. … I didn’t even know this was possible.”

But we can’t receive God’s unconditional love if we continue to hold onto old belief systems that stand in direct opposition to the truths in God’s Word. As Zerah discovered, “I gotta let the old go and start this new so that God can live in me richly.”

So this Valentine’s Day, open your heart. He wants to tell you that you are His beloved. He wants you to experience His unconditional love so that His love can transform you. I know who I am because Jesus tells me first that I am His beloved.

That is real love.

— Tonya

Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves,

for the rights of all who are destitute.

Speak up and judge fairly;

defend the rights of the poor and needy.

Proverbs 31:8-9

*Name changed to protect the identity of the individual in discussion.

Take a look at January’s blog post, “A New Year, A New Hope.” Pray and ask God to help you experience His unconditional love this Valentine’s Day. Then visit our Volunteer page and ask Him how you can become Jesus’ hands and feet so that Catalyst Farms residents can experience His unconditional, transforming love.